You Won't Believe What Serena Williams Finds Racist: Decorative Cotton Branches

Eugene Hoshiko

Serena Williams doesn't seem like a fragile flower, and we all know that she isn't. She is one of the toughest people on Earth, and has proven that time and again on the tennis court. 

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So when she whines about how oppressed she feels at a ritzy 5-star hotel, you know that the point isn't that she actually feels hurt, but rather that she wants to further the "oppression" narrative

Dear Serena,

I know exactly how you feel. I accidentally cut myself and I got a bag of cotton and some alcohol. I picked one and immediately, I could hear the cries of my ancestors toiling in a field. I fell to the floor, screaming and crying because I could feel their pain.

Out of nowhere, Harriet Tubman appeared and told me she could get me to freedom. Initially, I expressed confusion because I was in my own house and thought I was already free, but she pointed a musket at me and told me she wasn’t going to jeopardize lives. I agreed.

Anyway, I’m in Canada right now, trying to make my way back to New York. I feel all of your pain, though.  Damned cotton! 

Hugs, Zeek

Serena Williams is, as we all know, one of the most celebrated people in the world and has accumulated somewhere north of $300 million by hitting a yellow ball around on a court well and being so admired that corporations throw money at her to say nice things about them. 

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She may not ever have been the best tennis player in the world--even she admits that any guy in the top 400 tennis players could smoke her on the court--but she definitely was at the top of the women's game. 

She is literally one of the wealthiest people on earth because so many people admire her. In other words, she is a poster child for the opposite of "oppressed." If she is oppressed, I must be in a concentration camp. 

None of that occurs to Serena, though, because she has more pigment in her skin than I or many Americans do. 

Serena Williams shared her discomfort after discovering a decorative cotton plant in a New York City hotel.

“Alright, everyone. How do we feel about cotton as decoration?” she asked fans via Instagram Stories on Thursday, while walking toward the plant in a hallway.

She added, “Personally for me, it doesn’t feel great.” In another slide, she plucked a cotton ball off a branch and took it to her thumbnail, stating that it “feels like nail polish remover cotton.”

The tennis great, 43, visibly shuddered before walking off camera.

Williams was in New York to support Kim Kardashian’s Skims/Nike collab launch — its unclear which hotel she was staying at.

A rep for Williams did not immediately return Page Six’s request for further comment.

Williams’ uncomfortable moment comes amid social media backlash over the athlete’s partnership with GLP-1 medicine company Ro.

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I love that last line. The horrifically oppressed tennis star is facing backlash (who knew?) because another company is throwing her money for endorsing their product. 

It's SLAVERY, I tell you! Now, off to a party celebrating Kim Kardashian and Nike. 

Williams made her woke complaint while sporting a hairstyle and color that clearly appropriates the culture of white Northern Europeans, which I thought was a no-no until I realized that cultural appropriation is only bad if white people do it. 

Tennis, by the way, was kinda-sorta invented in the Middle Ages and standardized in England in 1874 by Major Walter Clopton Wingfield. Are non-English woke people really allowed to play? 

Yes, I am joking about both those matters. 

The history of cotton as a vital crop in human society goes back millennia, and no doubt, as Zeke Arkham points out, Williams uses a lot of it in her life. We all do, and seeing the plant and cotton balls should not be triggering to anybody. Cotton plants are used as decorations because they are interesting-looking, like Pussy Willow branches, and not because they are connected in any way to slavery. 

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Going down this absurd road would lead to demands that we ban highways because Hitler built autobahns, cancel VW because of its relationship to the Nazis, or ban soul food because it is a product of slave culture. We could do this forever. 

The irony is that only somebody as privileged as Williams even thinks about such things, because normal people have real problems to worry about. 

  • Editor's Note: The mainstream media continues to deflect, gaslight, spin, and lie about President Trump, his administration, and conservatives.

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