Greetings, Dear Reader,
Of all the kinds of news I see week in and week out, my favorite kind without question is dead terrorists.
Let’s get into it.
While we don’t have direct quotes yet, I imagine it going something like:
“Is this ROTC?”
Right before all hell broke loose.
The students in the class, future military officers, replied in the affirmative. According to some reports, the assailant then shouted “allahu akbar” and opened fire, tragically killing Old Dominion University’s ROTC commander, Army Lt. Col. Brandon Shah, a highly decorated soldier who’d been to several fronts.
But Mohamed Bailor Jalloh had chosen the wrong marks.
The ROTC students rushed him. Wrestled him down to the ground. Then killed him. Manually.
This led to the most unintentionally amusing FBI presser in domestic terrorism history.
“How is he deceased?” asked a reporter.
“Uh, the … there were students in that room who subdued him and, uh, rendered him no longer alive. I don’t know how else to say it.”
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