Give 'Em Hell, Hairy

I can’t say how many times in recent weeks I’ve heard some American politician (often, but not always, Donald Trump) described as a “fascist.” Let me offer some alternative terms suitable for bipartisan bile: authoritarian, autocrat, bully, blowhard, hoodlum, hooligan, narcissist, thug, gangster, goon, strongman. Use any of these words, and the conversation can continue, punctuated but not upended by the invective. Use “fascist,” and the original conversation vanishes beneath a smog of sophistry over what fascism is and who deserves the label.

Anyone who calls some contemporary American political figure a fascist instantly becomes Roseanne Roseannadanna—Gilda Radner’s SNL “consumer journalist”—and so does everyone else in the conversation. Roseannadanna would read a query on some specific topic from a viewer (usually “a Mister Richard Fedder from Fort Lee, New Jersey”), gloss over the query for 10 or 15 seconds, and then meander ad nauseam over some pointless, irrelevant anecdote involving a posh celebrity (e.g., Joyce Brothers, Yves Saint-Laurent, Princess Lee Radziwill) and a grotesque bodily function (e.g., sweat balls, navel lint, boogers, toilet paper stuck on shoes, greasy hair, runny noses, bad breath, armpit stains, foot odor, pantyhose runs, dandruff, food stuck in teeth, earwax, ingrown hairs, rashes, zits, stomach noises, gas, underarm hair, panty lines, sweaty socks, smudged lipstick, cheap wigs, ill-fitting bras, and hemorrhoids.) When the exasperated Jane Curtin would inquire as to the relevance of the peroration, Roseannadanna would answer:

“Well, Jane, it’s always something. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

Mind you, every single one of Roseannadanna’s musings was more interesting, informative, and thoughtful than any discussion of whether “fascist” is or is not an appropriate label for Trump or any other 21st century American politician. I blame a 20th century politician—Harry S Truman—for the Left’s descent into Roseannadannaism. (Occasionally, right-wingers calling left-wingers “Fascist,” but such usages are less frequent and less mainstream.)