Still Think America Is In Decline? Try The Ranch

Our story begins in 1954. It was a big year for civil rights and condiments.

Steve Henson, a humble Nebraskan plumber, was contracted to the Alaskan bush, where he spent his days laying pipe and his evenings working in the kitchen. There, in frigid isolation, he invented ranch dressing, keeping his crew happy and probably a little fat. He later moved to California with his wife and opened a dude ranch called Hidden Valley. And as they say, the rest is history.

Some 72 years later, the U.S. is hosting the World Cup. Roughly 10 million fans from around the world are expected to travel here to watch. Instead of finding the dystopia they’ve been promised, many are discovering a country full of friendly people and great food. It’s the little things: barbecue, seafood boils, gas station hot dogs, manners, but above all else, ranch dressing.

World Cup fans are going absolutely ape sh*t for the boss of sauce.



So much so that TSA felt compelled to issue a statement (emphasis theirs):

“If you’re visiting for a very large sporting event & you happen to discover RANCH while you’re here… pls pack it in your CHECKED BAG on the way home. Thank you.”