Okay, OKAY.
Apologies to George Orwell, because that's not exactly the quote...
“He was a fattish but active man of paralysing stupidity, a mass of imbecile enthusiasms—one of those completely unquestioning, devoted drudges on whom, more even than on the Thought Police, the stability of the Party depended.”
― George Orwell, 1984
...but God dang, is it Brian Stelter to a 'T.'
Both before and after his brief employment hiatus, Stelter has been a shameless apologist and propaganda orifice for so many Democrat establishment narratives, it's hard to keep up with them.
When the roly poly mouthpiece lost his CNN gig three years ago, not only did most of the country feel it was long overdue, it was also time to break out the highlight reels because we never thought we'd see his like again.
And we thanked God for it.
If you had told us that the cringe-inducing, shrieky little dumpling of a liar would be back on CNN just a short two years later, in what was even more extraordinary - a bid to save the network from completely collapsing (and who were their 'business' consultants?!)?!
I mean, we were all gobsmacked that any network could be that blindly stupid or that desperate.
@greggutfeld is going to be so happy 🤣 https://t.co/x4QhDzQYaR pic.twitter.com/gypyR8mKXS
— Karli Bonne’ 🇺🇸 (@KarluskaP) September 3, 2024
We were also rolling on the floor. Stelter promised a new and improved spud.
..."But this is not going to be a ‘Back to the Future’ remake," Stelter told readers. "The media industry has matured, CNN has evolved, and I have changed a lot since I signed off two years ago. I loved my old life as the anchor of a Sunday morning show but, to borrow some lingo from my video game blogger days, I finished that level of the game. Time for new levels, new challenges."
He will also be a chief media analyst for CNN, which he said, per Variety, "means I’ll be appearing on air, developing digital content, and helming this newsletter. It will be different, because I am different."
"I always scoffed at people who said ‘getting fired was the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ — until, well, it happened to me," Stelter said.
The only thing really different about Stelter seems to be less of him.
A leaner, meaner potato.
The frantic TDS grievance-baiting he's been spewing for years hasn't really changed.
CNN is already frantic over the Trump administration’s new webpage exposing media bias.
— Overton (@overton_news) November 30, 2025
Brian Stelter practically spiraled on air...insisting over and over that the real goal was to “delegitimize the media.”
At the bottom of the screen, CNN slapped on a dramatic chyron:
“White… pic.twitter.com/q1btrZdT8I
...At the bottom of the screen, CNN slapped on a dramatic chyron:
“White House launches webpage that targets reporters.”
And Stelter spent the entire doing everything in his power to discredit the effort to hold the media accountable for inaccuracies.
“To delegitimize the media. I would say it’s to delegitimize the media.”
“This media bias monitor is being produced at taxpayer expense. It’s a featured part of the White House website, and it’s about trying to tarnish and demean various news outlets.”
And the race-baiting continues. The hideous murder of Iryna Zarutska in Charlotte, for example, offended Stelter because the 'right-wing' (he calls out Elon Musk and the late Charlie Kirk specifically) wouldn't just treat it as another big city crime.
TRUMP ALIGNED SOCIAL INFLUENCES POSTING UP A STORM ABOUT THIS CASE IS RACIST RACIST RACIST
🚨 BREAKING: CNN's Brian Stelter FUMES at people being "racist" after Iryna Zarutska was murdered in Charlotte by a thug and repeat criminal.
— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) September 8, 2025
"It's being used as a political symbol! Some of the comments are baldly RACIST, stoking fear of African Americans, because this man… pic.twitter.com/9KPdMtEvp8
Oh, he's been The Potato reconstituted in the months since he got a desk and a camera to rant to back.
But vintage Stelter outdid himself last night and has gotten his visage pinned yet again as the poster boy for everything rotten at the core of a collusive and corrupt media.
Speaking to the scummy Swalwell situation and resignation, the blustering, bloviating, bald, bubbleheaded buffoon had the unmitigated gall to take a victory lap in the name of investigative reporting.
Eric Swalwell ending his bid for California governor is, among other things, a testament to the power of investigative reporting pic.twitter.com/4xzUg944dt
— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) April 13, 2026
Let that hot take sink in for a moment.
David's post yesterday covered what we knew then about 'the open secret' of Eric Swalwell's (and his running buddies') revolting double lifestyle. Horrifyingly, in the past 24 hours, even more ghastly romps have been revealed that it seems all of Washington, D.C., the press corps, the media, and half of California have known for years!
But Stelter goes on his little nighttime segment and pontificates about Jimmy Olsen-style gumshoe work breaking the case...for why? Calm the nerves of his six viewers?
No one 'broke it.' It was apparently common knowledge kept from the public in a vast conspiracy among Democrats and their many, many enablers until the subject became too hot to handle and the CA governor's race too close for comfort. The Dem powers that be shivved Swalwell in a targeted political hit job.
He might as well have had sandals and a potato toga on.
Now, this Stelter tool wants to laud the very people in San Francisco print who should have hung Swalwell out to dry decades ago, because that is their supposed job description. But they never did.
The comments on Stelter's pathetic paean were not kind, and the almost 5-to-1 ratio was brutal.
What it really took is Dems being concerned that Swalwell may spilt the vote and a GOPer would win the governorship of CA. Dems then called their buddies like Stelter, and said: "Release the hounds! You need to kill this guy's campaign." And, thus was done.
— CommonSenseIsn'tCommonAnymore (@DCFanFirst) April 13, 2026
THERE'S BEEN TALK
Gallego directly contradicts Nancy’s lies:https://t.co/Ou7E72MqqQ
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) April 14, 2026
Potato R. Murrow: Taken together, the stories portray an abuse of power by the California congressman.
Even in 2017, CNN KNEW but 'wouldn't name' names. I guess CNN didn't 'believe all women' at the time or in investigating any further to verify the stories.
Guess they didn't want to lose any access in Congress, schmaybe?
MORE THAN A HALF DOZEN NAMED ONE CALIFORNIA CONGRESSMAN
‘Nothing about it felt right’: More than 50 people describe sexual harassment on Capitol Hill
...There is also the “creep list” – an informal roster passed along by word-of-mouth, consisting of the male members most notorious for inappropriate behavior, ranging from making sexually suggestive comments or gestures to seeking physical relations with younger employees and interns.
...More than half a dozen interviewees independently named one California congressman for pursuing female staffers; another half dozen pointed to a Texas congressman for engaging in inappropriate behavior. CNN is not naming either of those lawmakers because the stories are unverified.
"Investigative reporting" you mean journalists cleared by party leadership to report what they apparently all knew for over a decade, once it was helpful for the party to win an election?
— Sam Rogers (@RealSamRogers) April 13, 2026
A whole lot of CNN investigative nothing when Swalwell was part of the Trump Russia collusion hoax being run at the time.
Gracious. Couldn't chance derailing that with investigative reporting.
If only you had done some. pic.twitter.com/Tf3tbzGrXE
— M D Campbell 🇺🇸🏴 (@MCampbell1041) April 13, 2026
Brian Stelter is a living, breathing, snorting, shrieking monument to the integrity-challenged pond scum that still fills the studios of what passes for mainstream media. A tuber who hasn't the intellectual or moral capacity to question what he is told to mouth, and does his duty to his overlords as vociferously as possible, because noise makes right.
And faux earnestness is truth relayed.
These would have been our purveyors of information had Kamala won. The disseminators of the truth as they need it and write it.
The investigative reporters who, if they were actually directed to look, would then select their subjects from a narrowly defined target list with a predetermined finding.
Pats on the back all around the newsroom for a job well done every single time, whether a job was done or not.
Saving democracy, you know.
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